BOTTOM OF THE POPS

BOTTOM OF THE POPS

Every week the people at Bottom Of The Pops take the least played tracks from Youtube and the track with the least plays is top of the Bottom Of The Pops.

 

It's simple and it's brilliant and we're pretty sure there'll be no Mumford and that's why we're delighted to flag up the good, bad and the what the fuck every month.

 

We start with January 2020 and will carry on doing a rough shag round up, come review of the art offered by our betters.

On the other hand, just spin that shit...

JANUARY 2020:

The year begins with a scream and that's my fault for sleeping in the scorpion tank, but what has the January trawl through the Bottom Of The Pops brought us, eh?

THE KING MIDAS SOUND "THE LONELY" (YOUTUBE)

It's a Doctor Phibes (check that out) voice over some grey shimmer and you may well think that's dull, but take the positive; it reminded you to watch the Doctor Phibes movies.

 

FERNANDO GIRIAO "CRISIS" (DISCOGS)

Genuinely horrible, it's like Gloria Estefan got bored and let somebody else front a slab of generic schlock. Clerical workers from Croydon might find it exciting, but that's why we've done away with them.

 

CHAI "FASHIONITA" (OFFICIAL)

This is, as you've already noticed, fucking brilliant, being, as it is, Bjork on helium, perfect pop, more infectious than corona and more disturbing than that thing we don't talk about.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Given that it ends in a welter of machine drumming and multi-layered vocal rage puts the radioactive cherry on top.

 

EBONY STEEL BAND "EUROPE ENDLESS" (YOUTUBE)

This is cultural blackmail. Not intentional, but out-weirding Kraftwerk takes some doing

and the Ebony Steel Band do a cracking job. This is an insane chimera that traduces both European and African culture in ways that would horrify racists and real people alike. So, pretty fucking brilliant, in a way.

 

ELECTRIC PIANO PLAYGROUND "SATISFACTION" (YOUTUBE)

An interesting joke that doesn't work on so many levels, or does if you can ignore the helpless howls of rage from the underworld as Nicky Hopkins tries to claw a way to their smart alec throats.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I like it and admire the way Chas n Dave have been re-invented, without the tedious visuals n vocals.

B.B.C "QUALITY WEED" (LABEL WORXX LTD)

A suitably laid back and slippery cool  electro-reggea hymn that extols the virtues of, er, weed. Here's the youtube iteration;

 

 

 

 

 

 

See? You probably don't even need to skin up now, even better, there's a chunkier mix here; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n49AUYnmSTo

 

 

BALLON D'ESSAI "ISOLATION" (FLYING NUN RECORDS)

Strange to see this turn up a zillion years after it's early eighties release, but it's on Flying Nun and all snobby-twat lovers of real music (Tall Dwarfs, yeah!)will know that usually means something from Australia or New Zealand and, even more usually, something good. This time it is very good and Ballon D'essai are from New Zealand.

 

 

 

 

Ballon D'essai are also doing a pretty decent job of herding Siouxsie into some scrappily beautiful Malcom McLaren car crash. Hunt down their slim back catalogue like it was a winning lottery ticket and make it easy by going here:

https://www.discogs.com/Ballon-DEssai-Grow-Up/release/1522147

 

 

 

LOU TERRY "RAINBOW PLASTIC" (YOUTUBE)

A kind of musical suicide note from a childrens tv presenter, "Rainbow Plastic" jars where it proposes to soothe, the swoonsome vocal is always and very exactly one milligram away from a violent breakdown, See?

 

 

 

We can't help but wonder if the video isn't some kind of evolving cat scan for a brain under strain and... if it is, does it belong to the artist or the listener?

 

 

 

LORD KITCHENER "MANCHESTER FOOTBALL DOUBLE" (ORCHARD ENTERPRISES)

Slowly swinging stuff from the caribbean to London, via an homage to Manchester City and Manchester United and  it's a cute way to make football history vaguely palatable, but

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

then you look at the dates Lord Kitchener were active and wonder if this wasn't an attempt to disarm the racists of the day?

MEZ / SPOOKY DIZZLE "R9's HAIRCUT" (CARGO)

It's my first time with Mez and I like it. Possibly for the wrong reason; This is exactly what the early Jamie T wanted to sound like and exactly what the present and future Jamie T will never be.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is a more and better Mez out there, go grab the grime.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCn63s4n9qxO2ZGunAPmAi_w