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Hallo, there's an election looming and christmas and some truly

tedious records floating about. So, we say thank fuck for Pete Doherty.

A worthy, timeslipped bastard son of Keith Richards and Bam Bam from

The Flintstones. He is known to you as some kind of second

division Byron from the indie wastelands, but we know him as

a man with a direct line to the blues, owner of happy dogs,

a passable student of military matters and, most recently,

possessed of the kind of excellent taste that leads to

drinking in pyjamas and still getting into a fight.

This is why we've adopted the Pete rating system and will award up to five P's.

HERE'S A MAN FROM CANADA...

GER LONG "IT'S BACK AGAIN" (YOUTUBE / SPOTIFY / AMAZON / ETC)

RELEASED? Out now.

The man from Canada is called  Ger Long and he writes as only a man from the  north American continent can write about Europe; "I'm a one man band from Ireland who plays good authentic and traditional country music. The song also mentions how How Ireland loves to Jive and this is a true fact. Every weekend all over Ireland the Dance Halls are filled with people Jiving to great country music." There's a lot to unpick, but leaving aside the vision of an Ireland united in love for the versions of Conway Twitty, Dolly Parton and John Denver who love to jive, there's the small matter of Ger sounding more like Garth Brookes failing to find Zydeco. Still, it's all great fun and no one died.

RATED AT: P P & 1/2

FOUND AT: https://www.facebook.com/gerlongmusic

CHEESE & METAL ON PLASTIC

JAMES V "SARIA'S SONG" (BANDCAMP)

RELEASED? Out now.

This is lovely. This is where metal, cheesy listening and swoon-pop meet in a glorious confluence of sound. Clanky old guitar riffs stamp around swirling sheets of angelic keyboard. Artfully stern drums and slabs of synth hold it all together and the sniping of the ten dollar guitar lead is ear-hurtingly exquisite.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Obviously, we can't let you hear "Saria's Song" until the link is taken off 'Private', but whenever we like a track we start hunting down the back catalogue and we've done that with James V. This why we can show and recommend the equally fine, but dirtier track, "Blondie".

RATED AT: PPPP

FOUND AT: https://jamesv.bandcamp.com/

POUND OF FLESH, KILO OF PAIN

XIX "XIX" (SPOTIFY)

RELEASED? Out now.

This lot come from Canada as well. After that it goes downhill. Don't get snippy, terminal phase Alice Cooper is never good, no matter how much Slipknot-Clown Pussy you dip it in. Also,I wasn't crazy about the rape-lite lyrics on "Love At First Bite". So, professionally produced and while the tracks are 'original', they're not. "XIX" is a dot to dot, sub-metal-popoid slab. Obviously this is an approach that worked all too well for Ed 'Cunt On A Stick' Sheeran and I'd rather XIX were polluting the airwaves, but I'm not in charge, apparently.

RATED AT: PP

FOUND AT: www.xixband.com

I THINK WE'RE A CLONE NOW...

THE DARKNESS "ROCK N ROLL DESERVES TO DIE" (COOKING VINYL)

A million years ago I had the the first Darkness demo and wrote it up and wrote it off as... 'A slick rock beastie with comedy vocals". The rest you may, or may not know, but The Darkness are back, again and I, for one, welcome the return of our quasi-queen, lesser zep underlords.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Darkness are rock n roll and if that's a tricky concept for you, the door is over there. Otherwise, we have some shameless, riff-gorging, attention-junkies spanking out some pop n roll cliches for you to adore or pretend to abhor. We are going with adore and panting impatiently for the release of the whole "Easter Is Cancelled" album on the 4th of October. The Darkness live here; www.thedarknesslive.com

YOU WON'T CHOOSE A TEAM...

AMTAY LEV "SAY YES" (SOUNDCLOUD)

Tedious, fucking shit. From the slavishly McCartney vocal stylings to the bland on bland predictability of the slow motion melody, this is expensively sheened and preening indulgence. There is, as usual, a lot happening in Amay's part of the world and I know we aren't all political animals, but if  Amay is so keen on copying McCartney, where the fuck is his "Give Ireland Back To The Irish"?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Answers on a shell casing to the usual address. Meanwhile, the sunshine, chin-stroking and wilful ignorance continues here; www.facebook.com/levamitay

WHERE DANTE FAILS TO BREAK FREE

NACHTFALTER "WAS BLEIBT" (ECHOZONE)

Well, it's about time Dracula made an album and he's done a pretty spiffy, if very deliberate job. One of the more interesting things about "Was Bleibt" is how tidy, precise and organised it is. You may know the Bowie howl from 'Diamond Dogs', "This ain't rock n roll" as being a snarl of rage and capitulation. Well, the good people of Nachtfalter are ignoring that and seem to be more concerned with stamping out some kind of Ramstein with Kraftwerk and Euro-Metal-Template-One.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Maschinenklang"is a cracking example, chop, chop, chopping riffs wandering around before being stabbed by obvious, they write themselves, lead fills. So, yeah, it's all very not horrible, in it's various bits, but "Was Bleibt" is a conceptual thing and, in it's very precise round, it's another circle of hell. Maybe that's the idea. I don't know. I didn't go in that day, but if you'd like to go in, the door is here; nachtfalter

WHERE DOES SADE LIVE?

CROWN "UNLEARNING" (SPOTIFY / i-TUNES / APPLE / BANDCAMP)

Please make it stop. I used to dream of a world scoured clean of clean music. By which I mean I wandered  around with a pipe bomb, asking strangers if they knew where Sade lived. My objections to Crown are obvious and these; They make Sade sound like The Vibrators with a hangover, they are  cleaner than a very, very clean thing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The entire project is pitched as some kind of artistic rebellion and that rebellion seems to be a gang of middle class entitlement junkies who demand attention because they have melanin. Having said that, "Had Enough" is fucking brilliant, apart from the idiot rapper crapping all over it. Staying positive, the Joni Mitchell-esque "Lines" is a brightly brooding bit of kit and Crown might have more traction by giving priority to substance rather than style. Either way, they can be found here; ropeadope.com/artists#/c-r-o-w-n/

BOTTOM OF THE POPS, IT'S A REAL THING

VARIOUS "THE LEAST PLAYED  TRACKS ON YOUTUBE" (DON'T BE SILLY)

Regular viewers and the musically savvy, adventurous and masochistic know all about Bottom Of The Pops, the weekly round up of the least played tracks on Youtube, the fewer the plays the higher higher the chart position. Right, let's see what's rattling the windows this time;

FRANCOIS HARDY "J'SUIS D'ACCORD" (SPOTIFY, DEEZER, YOUTUBE, ETC)

Bert Weedon could teach you to play in a day, but it would take forever to teach anyone not born to the job how to be French. Francois Hardy is effortlessly and perfectly French. Barely bothering to shrug as she throws a scarf of American, fifties guitar popping over her left banking, cheeky Birkin bit of coolness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now, it turns out that these tracks are re-releases and that Francois Hardy is no one hit wonder, there are other little gems on Youtube and elswhere. We are also takem with the shameless stealing from cowpoke country on "Oh Oh Cheri". Francois Hardy lives here; www.facebook.com/francoisehardyofficiel

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POTTERY "SMOOTH OPERATOR" (BANDCAMP / SPOTIFY)

Please don't be a Sade cover, please don't be a Sade cover, it isn't a Sade cover, or if it is it's been mangulated enough to sound great. Obviously, by 'great' we mean that Pottery have somehow punked up Split Enz and put child unfriendly angles on everything.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The clever ones among you will know that the words post-punk make up a large part of their press coverage, but we'd like to add post-math rock, brooding and echo chamber. As it happens, Pottery are touring the UK in the second half of August and you can see that schedule and listen to / buy the "Pottery No1 EP" that "Smooth Operator" lives on, just click the pic. Pottery also have a webshite of their own, click HERE

GLOK "DISSIDENT" (BYTES)

Artfully layered, but pretty tame and predictable synth-trance all the same. There are the boldly coloured synth sheets, gradual additions include all of the usual suspects; bpm upticks, highlight the bass drum, load up some skitter effects, more synth, relapse to thoughtful trance insistence and repeat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Repeat for nearly twenty minutes with minor variations like the sub Carlos Santana guitar break. Here's a handy link; lnk.to/Dissident and you kids have fun in there, but I'm off to find some feedback.

PAPUR WAL "SEIGFRIED SASSOON" (LIBERTINO RECORDS)

Now this is nice. Dreamy, but crisp as late Beatles play shoegaze-ish games with The Byrds. It heavies up nicely and this is sending us on the hunt for more of their stuff.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Said hunt reveals more excellent noise and the sweet fact that Papur Wal are from Wales, but the Gorky's Zygotic Mynci bit rather than the Tom Jones. You can and are urged to get some Papur Wal at their soundcloud thing and they have a Facebook site as well, just like Cambridge Analytica never happened.

MICK TROUBLE "HE'S FRANK" (BANDCAMP)

Treble washed sixties jangle or a more gentle and subversive kind of punk? We actually listened to the words (you can hear them, Gran) and Mick Trouble is more Leighton Buzzards, Squeeze or Wreckless Eric than Dave Clarke Five. The whole album is available on Youtube and Bandcamp, go to those places.

MORE LATER...